Saturday morning we woke up early as usual since Nora was right on her 7am feeding schedule. First we enjoyed an episode of Saved By The Bell: The College Years....Zach got a job as an orderly to be closer to Kelly, although Professor Lasky was in the way.....again. A classic epsiode. We dropped off a car at the Mandarin Oaks parking lot, drove back to the house, and loaded up Nora in the stroller. Meghan and I don't consider ourselves avid walkers or marathon runners, but we do love Eggs Benedict with extra hollandaise sauce. So this Saturday we walked from our home the 3.5 miles to Beach Diner for a delicious breakfast, a nice reward after a long walk. My hips hurt. Nora slept the whole way, and even a few neighbors built water fountains along the path for those in need of a quick H2O fix.
Meghan hydrated from the adult/human fountain while I was sipped from the dog and cat water source. Uncool.
Even baby Nora needed to hydrate at mile 2. Although I'm not sure she knew it.
It was a perfect Saturday to spend with our little family. The weather was great, exercise is always good, and the food was even better. The only family members that were missing were two Brittany's....Ruckus and Mayhem. Who would have known 24 hours later they would get their revenge for being left behind?
Saturday evening I was grilling out Ribeye steaks, marinanted in Moore's. Amazing! Ruck was chilling outside with me while May was watching from the kitchen door. Ribeye is an excellent steak, full of fat, which is why they are so flavorfull. Well I pulled off a chunk of grilled fat, cut a tiny piece for Ruck to knaw on and threw the huge chunk over the fence line towards the side yard. May must have been watching because she was ticked off Sunday. I was sure a cat, racoon, armadillo, or something would be all over that in no time. Apparently I was way off and should have known something was up. Mayhem was pacing the fence line all Sunday afternoon.
Round One: Being the good owner that I am, I told MW I would walk the dogs late Sunday afternoon to get them a little exercise since they always appear to be so bored. As soon as we left the backyard and turned down the side toward the street I looked over and Mayhem had gobbled up this ungodly looking black clump of....yep, Ribeye fat. To say she wouldn't let go is a slight understatement. I had to pry her jaw wide open and shake her head in order to get the chunk of fat to fall out. Not an easy task. Once it was out, I picked it up and threw it into our bushes. I looked at my hand, which was black, put the dogs in the backyard and washed my hands.
Round Two: With the ribeye fat out of the picture, we headed back out for the walk. Same route, but nothing to worry about right? We were walking past several of our neighbors homes and right as we just passed a big pine tree I noticed May scoop down out of the corner of my eye. Boom! I grabbed her by the neck as she was attempting to swallow a whole dead squirrel. The tail was sticking out the side of her mouth, the head straight out the front. I dropped the leashes, Ruck looked on with confusion, and May's sudden case of lockjaw made this mission extremely difficult. Grabbing her neck with one hand, her muzzle with the other, I held her close to the ground and stepped on the tail, then lifted her head hoping the squirrel would come out of her mouth. Not exactly. The tail fell off and she took a huge gulp. All I could see was a little head and two eyes barely poking out of her mouth.
I didn't panic. I had no choice...I looked around, didn't see anyone to help, Ruck still confused..we locked eyes and I knew we were thinking the same thing. I said some unchoice words, but I knew what I had to do. "Rucky boy it's time to get this squirrel out." I pryed open Mayhem's jaw, reached down her throat, and pulled out the dead medium-sozed rodent. In disgust, I threw the young, lifeless, bloody, rat with a cuter outfit down the street. I couldn't let her eat it because I knew I would pay for it later, so I did what I had to do.
So overwhelmed...Ruck and I kept pushing and finished the walk with May at a safe distance. We passed a few neighbors whom I politely took a no thanks on the handshake (for good reason). Once back at home I told Mayhem I still love you, but you are disgusting. Then I washed my hands 5 times. In fact, just thinking about the squirrel I washed my hands with Purell instant hand sanitizer while sitting here writing this blogpost. I contemplated leaving out the picture of the squirrel, but what's a story without pictures? A true story of a sweet, revengeful, young Brittany with a vibrant taste for animal fat. Whether it be a cow or squirrel, she's one sick hungry canine.
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