What kind of costumes are available to pregnant chicks? Not many. Ghost, pumpkin, pregnant nun, Tommy Lasorda... no thanks. After a brief Facebook hiatus, I logged in last Wednesday, only to find that we had an invite to a costume party on Friday. When my sister came over that night to dig through our extensive collection of costumes we started to get into the Halloween spirit and decided we should pull something together. I had an idea that we had toyed with in previous years, but the timing never seemed right...until now.
The costume: Whacked Out Woman Births Baby
Amazingly enough, only 2 purchases were made to create this look.
1.) A large male Eurotard, color nude. 2.) Ace bandage.
Other items already a part of the Weaver Costume Collection included:
- Hospital Gown, previously worn by my father (as a costume, of course, in the early 90's),
- Black wig
- Compression hose (part costume, part to treat actual swelling of the kankles)
- Orange IKEA slippers, which Chris sports on a daily basis
- Adult Diaper (see previous blog post "O Date" for explanation)
- Diaper pins (Part of a game from my baby shower)
- Over-sized Rattle (Had it for years, don't ask)
- Red Latex Paint (We just happened to paint our kitchen Cabin Red last week. How convenient and hopefully safe to apply directly to the skin.
- Sculpting Clay/Pomade (applied to Chris' hair, face, and eyebrows for the birthing fluid.)
- Nylon Batting (leftover from a stuffed animal I made for the baby, used to stuff the umbilical cord.)
The Harden's went above and beyond with the haunted house decorations. We had a great time at the party and enjoyed the "togetherness" that the costume required. My poor bladder sent me to the restroom a few times and Chris happily came along. We just slammed the cord in the door and he would wait for me outside. Chris never felt the need to cut the cord or break the seal that night. You would think that with the adult diaper on he would be covered, but that Eurotard would have posed some problems.
My white trash sister, Erin, really wanted to cut the cord but her teeth just weren't strong enough. She gave it her best shot though.
The party was a lot of fun but we just couldn't hang like the old days. I was feeling fat and hungry so we decided to "head out" and hit up McDonalds for some fries on the way home. While waiting in the drive-thru line, Chris managed to get the cord wrapped around his neck. I laughed so hard my bag of waters nearly burst. It didn't though. Halloween came early, but the baby is still right on schedule.
Stay tuned for Whacked Out Woman Births Baby, Part 2... the real deal.
